Pinterest Reality: The perception of a future situation being far more unrealistically perfect than it ever will be.

I want to address the Pinterest realities of living abroad. By that, I mean that in the next few blogs, I'll spell out my experiences of living as an international. I'll share the good, the bad, and the really honest realities that I've faced moved 5500 miles around the globe. In this blog I want to just give you an overview of my experience when I first moved here.

I'll start at the beginning. My American friends who are reading this will tell you an interesting tale of my first few weeks here. Frankly, that's because although the prospect of moving away from home to a strange new land and attending BSSM was incredibly exciting, the reality of moving anywhere new is always different from the fantasy you create in your mind. If you were to ask any of my closest friends about how dealt with moving here, I'd bet you $50 that the answer wouldn't be especially encouraging.

The fact is, and this may come as a shock to some of you. I actually really, really disliked being here in the first few weeks. Eager not to let anyone at home know that I wasn't actually enjoying being here as much as I said, I kept it bottled up. Kinda.

Okay so let me set the scene a little better for you. I've just finished Sixthform, worked over the summer and moved to America. At home, I'm introverted, enjoy the rain and alone time, am known to be a little wild and out there in terms of what I'm comfortable with Jesus/Holy Spirit wise and generally pretty arrogant about life in general. (Hindsight is a wonderful thing.)

So I move to Redding, California. I'm living in a house with three guys, two of which i've never met and come from totally different cultures to mine. Enter performance mode. Comparison hit me pretty hard in the first few days here, suddenly, I wasn't the most prophetic person in the room, I wasn't the most gifted at this or that, and apparently I terrible at communicating in a way that doesn't insult everyone in the room. Hmm. But wait, there is more.

I'm staying in a room with someone else, so there's not a huge amount of me time, the weather is a solid 45 Degree's Celsius (Which no one understood anyway because we all use Fahrenheit over here anyway), and EVERYTHING at Bethel seems to make me either uncomfortable spiritually, or make me feel like I'm not as good as anyone in the room. This has nothing to do with Bethel, and everything to do with the fact that all I wanted was to be seen and heard as the best.

I've never felt so insecure, imperfect or misunderstood in my entire life. Reality was that all of the offense that I was choosing to take and bottle up in me, only made my dislike of being here greater.

Enter my amazing BSSM community. One of the main things that we're taught here at BSSM is to call the gold out in people. Looking back over September, October, and even the last week, I can say that I've had more gold drawn out of me than I ever thought to be possible.

You see Revival, and the lifestyle that living in his presence cultivates, is drawn out, and maintained by those around us, in community. I've written about it in my last blog, so if you want to know more, just jump back a blog.

My community changed everything. School had barely started and I wasn't the same person I was before I stepped into the Civic.

As amazing as it was to see the change, what I didn't realize is that there isn't some magic pill to fix culture shock. However, there's a word that's on my heart daily to describe it. Process.

You know God isn't scared of your mess? In fact, he's so not frightened by the prospect of process that even though he knew you would be a mess, he still went to the cross. He still died for you, he still chose you knowing exactly what that meant in the long term at points. Good and bad.

The truth is, that while I was struggling with the heat, the lack of Cadbury's chocolate, and generally wishing Bethel could of been in Bristol or something, Holy Spirit was right with me. Taking me on this incredible adventure. Adventure is the word for it as well, this year so far hasn't all been good, some of it's been incredibly hard, but I'm learning so much about God and myself that it's worth every moment of anguish about how big that truck is, or how I just want a Tesco.

Living internationally is hard, and you're not thinking straight if you think The States and England are anything alike. Culture shock comes in waves and sometimes it can feel like a total storm, but he's constant, and keeps my level. I'm so excited to see what his heart is for the rest of this year, I honestly feel like I've just got started.

My next blog is going to focus on what I adore about being in America.

Pinterest Realities Part I

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Pinterest Realities Part I

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Weaverville was an amazing experience.

So much to tell you since I last blogged to you, honestly so much has happened I feel like I need to be blogging more often so I'm not just overloading you when I do share with you, but here goes.

What has started to become very apparent is that culture dictates everything about your experience in a place. You can have all the miracles in the world, and it won't be sustainable, or attractive to people for that matter of fact if the culture of your house isn't Kingdom. Since getting to Redding, and being at Bethel church for 8 weeks now, what sets this place apart is truly the culture. I'll share a little about how this has changed me since I've been here.

Transparency Vs. Vulnerability

One of the most clear core values that we carry as a culture over here is that we're real. It's so obvious that people aren't "Church Faced" in the slightest. Mainly this comes from a total rejection of any performance for love, but that's another point. What I really want to focus on is the difference between these two words. Transparency and Vulnerability. 

Honestly, if you can master the difference between these two concepts, it'll change the way that you interact with those inside your world. In a place where being real with people is the culture, and not hiding your problems from those around you is the way, how do make sure that you remain loved, and safe in that place? 

When I was on retreat three or four weeks back, I found myself in a really vulnerable place before my leaders. Issues that were buried started to arise because Holy Spirit started to touch on them. One of my interns noticed this was happening he said one of the most important things I've heard so far since being here. 

You can be transparent with anyone,but to be vulnerable puts that person in a position where the next thing they say could really hurt you. Generally I'm a fairly transparent person, but what this taught me was who I actually let speak into my life. It's super valuable. You are a powerful person, you choose who speaks into your life. Speak about your life, be careful who you let speak into it. 

Community sustains Revival

Here's a crazy thought, our actions have a direct impact on how the Kingdom of God is established on this earth. How we do community is vitally important, and it's one of the most amazing things I've noticed, how well we sustain our community directly correlates to how we meet with the Spirit. Now don't misunderstand me here, there is such a value for the secret place, just you and God. I love that, and it's so important, but we were made for relationship. If our mandate before Heaven is to bring it to earth, then we have to be in community to effectively do that. You should not do this alone. 

On a less spiritual note. 

I'm really finding home here, I've found some of my closest friends I've ever had, there's such a value in being surrounded by people who just moved to some small town in California because God told them to. The weather here is turning very slowly, but Fall is sure on its way, which is such a relief. The 45 degree heat was getting a little much. I'm getting used to the food, although to be honest I'm still not entirely sure what to cook here? The ingredients for food are just different, so all that home cooking/working in a Kitchen before I came out here is pretty much useless to be honest. I can't really complain about the fast food though. 

Recently got accepted onto the Increase Media Team, which is in charge of producing student Testimonies for the year in a creative and excellence way. I'm so thrilled to get to work with a caliber of film makers and photographers that are on the team, I'll post the content as it's produced.

I visited Weaverville with my Revival Group on Monday, the drive through the Mountains was something really special. Just being surrounded by the most amazing vista's is such a privilege, i'm constantly reminding myself not to take it for granted. 

As for now, I'm off to Friday Service. 

Wildest Blessings and Favor. 

Matt

BSSM Update 3 - Retreat, Ropes course and Weaverville.

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BSSM Update 3 - Retreat, Ropes course and Weaverville.

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"What you make of this moment changes everything.What if the path you choose becomes a road, The ground you take becomes your home"

-Amanda Cook//The Voyage

It's been four weeks since I written my last update about this. It's a privilege to say that I've found myself surrounded by family. I've really found home here. I walked into Church last night and for the first time since I arrived Bethel Church felt like my home church. Being able to know people at my service and simply walk into our coffee shop and find people is such a joy. Also turns out I'll be on the new Bethel Album as they were recording during Friday Nights, so that's a something. Finding Home somewhere that's new and unfamiliar is a real relief. Part of that is due to the people that I've got around me.

Schools in full swing and I'm actually on retreat this week. So that'll be a totally different blog. BSSM is like nowhere I've ever been, to some extent even being at Bethel Church friday services isn't quite like it. The hunger in the room for the more of God is crazy. Pastor Leslie Crandle one of our revival group pastors brought this crazy revelation about the more of God: When we talk about the more of God, we're talking about our capacity to receive from him, he's already given us everything we need. Basically BSSM pastors are amazing. 

So practically I've found some really good coffee here. I know that you were all worried about that, so I thought i'd put your mind at ease.

At BSSM we're split into what we call "Revival Groups", 65-70 people that become your family for the year. (That is alongside the amazing people that I share an apartment complex with). One of the massive pushes at school is to be authentic and vulnerable with people, it builds community and that builds revival fires.

This is just a short one since retreat has so much to write about. Ya'll have a real good day.

BSSM Update 2

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BSSM Update 2

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So if I’m honest, it’s a tad hard to write a blog post that contains one week in which you literally moved out of home, moved to the other side of the planet, moved in with three guys you’ve never really met before, started a new school, met some of the most amazing people and been pushed more than  you ever have. It’s a little tricky but i’ll give it a go.

The journey over here took best part of 30 hours door to door. It’s the longest i’ve ever traveled, and in all honesty, It wasn’t the best way to start the year. Nine hours from Gatwick to JFK, then a night on the floor at JFK. After what felt like forever in the most empty, strange airport terminal i’ve ever been in, we finally boarded the plane to Atlanta. At this point i’m so tired I literally fall asleep as soon as we take off. Of course only to be awoken by the flight attendant asking if I wanted a cookie, sure I thought, never going to say no to a cookie. So lesson one of America, Cookies are not Cookies. It’s a biscuit. The kind you get with your coffee at a Hospital.

We land in Atlanta and the spirits of Molly, Tim (My travelling people) and Myself are pretty low. As much as it’s only one journey left, it’s a solid 6 hours to Sacramento from here. So I sit down on the plane, and have the best view across America I could ever of imagined.

Anyway so fast forward 10 hours and we’re in San Francisco picking up some other BSSM students before heading to Redding. (Can you see how this was getting a little draining?) I’m honestly not sure how I didn’t explode and die at this point. All I want is to sleep. Maybe it was the amazing pulled pork sandwich we had, not just the sheer amount of Caffeine an American “Small” coke, but somehow I’m aware enough to see the Golden Gate bridge.  It’s nice, but the traffic in San Francisco keeps us for another hour. Our driver Nicole shares her amazing testimony and it rocks us completely, it’s like a foreshadowing of the year to come..

Finally we arrive in Redding. Enter sleep.

Two days past, and its the World Premiere of the New Holy Ghost documentary film, after the showing we made our way to Westside pizza. Where there a casaul Fire Tunnel (This is where people made a “Tunnel” and pray for you as you walk through”). It’s got kinda crazy, but God was there, so it’s all good.

So after a few days of orientating ourselves in Redding, it started to get hot. Now I get it, those of you in England at the moment are sat in your Jumpers and socks in September, wishing you’d got the fire fixed for this winter. This is not the case in Redding. So at the moment, 102 Degree Fahrenheit, that’s 39 to the rest of the world.

Nevertheless, we made our way down to Wiskeytown lake. This is the most surreal experience for anyone who lives in the UK. Straight up something out of coming of age American College film, we all bundle into two cars and drive convoy for 30 minutes through winding mountain roads with the radio blasting. There are some serious advantages to living in California afterall. I’ve adapted to the weather much faster than I expected, and much faster than those around me. 100 degree weather seems very normal.

Wiskeytown is beautiful. I'm so blessed to have a place like that so close to my house. School really kicks off next week, so I'll let you know how that goes after the first full week is over. For now, I've had two full days at BSSM, and it's rocked my world. I've got a ton of reading to do, and a load of reports to get done. This course is a lot more academic work then I expected, but its all amazing content, so no one really minds.

I’ll round this one off here to prevent a this becoming an essay, i’ll tell you about school in my next blog. For now, be praying for Finances for my friends, favour and jobs for people in the School, and that God would destroy expectations and replace him with what he wants to do.

Peace and Wildest Blessings.

Matt

Redding, CA from Matt Higham on Vimeo.

BSSM Update 1 - Journey + Wiskeytown

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BSSM Update 1 - Journey + Wiskeytown

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In the last few days I've been in Genesis. For me, this isn't always the easiest book to read, honestly, I find it full of difficult concepts to grasp. Scientific oddity and logically fallacies seem to be fraught all the way through it. For me, it's my Biblical battleground. I contest for revelation here more than anywhere else in the Bible. It's often where we mine the hardest where we find the most gold though. And that's just whats happened here.

In Genesis 2:19, we read that God had "Formed every beast of the Ground,and every bird of the Heavens, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them." How many times have you read this verse? How many times has it just been another verse?

This verse describes a gift that God gives to his people. But it's more than that, I think it's a declaration. It's God demonstrating his radical generosity and love. We had no right to name what God had created. We read in Deuteronomy 10:14 that the Earth is Gods, and everything in it. Ever considered the massive privilege that Adam has at this moment?

God's gifts to us are always bigger and more radical than we can ever imagine. Can you picture that moment? Adam's reaction to God's gift, was it awestruck wonder? Did he dance around? I can tell you what it wasn't. Fear. It wasn't fear. What we read in Genesis 2 is pre-fall. There is no fear in this relationship, Adam knows only God. Trusting him implicitly.  The gift that God gives him is a challenge to be overly and massively creative. There's no mention of Adam not feeling qualified, or feeling inadequate.

"Lion"

"Leopard"

"Viper"

"Elephant"

I honestly feel like some of us are in this season at the moment. We've been given a task, it feels like its huge. Maybe its raising the finance to do BSSM, maybe you've not paid tuition yet, or maybe your VISA situation is still in question. There's a Biblical president, right here at the start of it all, that although God's gifts can seem overwhelming,often challenging, we're to trust that he knows what we can handle so much more than we do. So start naming the animals.

Generosity of Genesis

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Generosity of Genesis

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It's almost at the ten day countdown to BSSM. If I'm being really honest, this hasn't been the joyful moment I thought it would be. I'm sure in time i'll be excited, and i'm sure it's natural to have some feeling of sadness in leaving your home, but recently I found myself feeling increasingly isolated from my English friends. Maybe it's just the lack of connection there, having more in common with those at Bethel then those going to study conventional courses here at home. This is not to say that I don't have masses of love for my Sixthform Family, I just relate to those at Bethel more.

Something really hit me through this though. My Earthly isolation, is just a Heavenly invitation to intimacy with the king. If God has you here, it's for a reason. For me, it hit me that this actually isn't a season with people, despite what I first thought this time would be. My expectation of emotional goodbye dinners and lots of coffee dates has been peacefully replaced with a simple expression of gratitude and intimacy. His plans for our time are so different to what we often make them. My plans to be busy up until the day I left had removed a huge amount of time spent with him. Precious moments with him overshadow my feelings of loss towards my home as I move to the other side of America. More than that though, they've become a foreshadowing of the promised encounters at BSSM, and that's more of a delight than any time spent on earth ever will be.

His invitation to you today is simple, and it applies whether you're feeling isolated or not. Intimacy is available and his pursuit of you is proof that he wants to be close. His intention towards you is made clear through Jesus, it's just up to you to ask him to be close.

Isolation and Invitations

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Isolation and Invitations

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Seasons

As I sit writing this, it's the morning before my Brother is getting married, and it's such a different season to where i was this time last year. I've just graduated from Ringwood Sixthform, where I spent three years of my life, Honestly it's going to be incredibly strange without it. However, I am so excited to start Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in September. Its such an oddity, this time last year I was waking up to find most of my friends moving on, I found myself at a bit of a loose end to be honest. I was remaining whilst most of my peers, if not all my peers that I'd grown up with, were moving on. 

Life moves in Seasons.

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I never got round to finishing this blog post, if i'm honest I totally forgot about it in the wonder and awe of the marriage. Today, just over a month after the start of this post was written, I've just got my results and the season of my life where I'm in Ringwood, even in England, is coming to an end. Transitions are so strange, as much as I'm wanting to spend time was those around me that I won't see for a whole year, I'm so eager to just go and jump into BSSM. I feel like this is a real tension for all prophetic people. We talk about seasons, as if one where we have to wait for something are bad, and the ones where we receive and are taught are good.

This is not the truth. In fact, this is a lie of the enemy.

You see the fact is, we don't decide what season we find ourselves in. God does. Rushing from one place to another only leads to you missing what God has for you on the way. So in the last few weeks before I leave, I'm doing my best to live in the moment. As much as there is prep work to do, there's so many amazing people I need to catch and talk for hours with. Part of my struggle in this is learning that the emotion of leaving those closest to you is all part of the process and journey that God has you on.

It's in this, that he speaks, and he prepares you for the seasons that we really look forward too. I guess what I'm saying, is that maybe we should be more excited for the times where God is preparing us, getting us into the shape and order that he needs us, because I think there's promise there.

Seasons - Graduation and Bethel

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Seasons - Graduation and Bethel

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